iLove this thing we call Us!
by KirstyLouiseBee
Summary: Bad at Summery's, No plot line just yet, but just a bunch of one-shots about seddie and their freindship after the break up and behind the scenes :P


**iCan't be str****ong all the**** time**

**AN:This is my first iCarly fanfiction, I wanted to do a fanfiction showing Sam's more venerable side.**

**Disclaimer: I could only ever wish that i owned iCarly sadly I do not :'( ohh well... **

**Summary****: Everyone knows Sam's the toughest member of the iCarly trio but some times she can't always be strong, but she know that she doesn't need to be strong, she just need's Freddie.**

Chapter 1: is it my fault?

Sam's POV:

After me and Freddie broke up I was hoping things would just fall back into place, like everything would rewind and start over but in the back of my mind I knew that it would never happen.

We still bicker with each other but it's not like it used to be. There's no spark or energy, because we both know we don't mean it, and now after our 'fights' we don't just slip back into a conversation we fall into an awkward silence and I can't take it. I built up the walls around my heart for a reason and when Freddie managed to pull them down I still felt safe because I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but now here I am trying to rebuild the walls but no matter how hard I try, I just can't.

I lie down back onto my bed and curl up into a ball, quickly glancing at the alarm on my bedside table: **9:48PM** flashed on the screen, I shut my eyes tight and hoped that I can sleep without dreaming of Freddie...

**6:45AM**

My alarm rang from my beside table. I smiled to myself, that was the first night since our break up I didn't dream about Freddie and I hope it means I can finally move on, but I know I can't not now anyway...

After getting washed and changed I made my way downstairs, my mum still was't home and in a way I was glad because I couldn't deal with her at the moment, but knowing that she could still be out with one of her so-called 'boyfriends' still hurt me because even though she has a reputation she still has someone to call hers even if it is for a few days. I grabbed a breakfast bar out of the fridge along with some snacks to fill my bag with, I made my way to the front door grabbing my jacket from it's hook and walked out the door. The fresh air filled my nostrils and I finally realised how cold it was and swung my jacket around my body and put on. The sky was dismal along with my mood, as I trudged my way to Bushwell Plaza specks of rain fell from the sky "Great, this is just peachy" I mumbled to myself. Yanking the hood on my jacket around my head, tucking my hands into my pockets I walked a little faster hoping I would be able to get to Carly's before it started to pour it down.

10 minutes later I had arrived but I still got caught in the rain which got even more heavier soaking me through my jacket and the rest of my clothes, I sighed to my-self and made my way towards the stairs, generally I didn't like making any effort but this time I wanted more time to clear my head before I saw Carly, Spencer of Freddie.

Freddie's POV:

My mum was working the early shift at the hospital so when I got up I just took my time getting ready. I had a long shower before I got dressed, once i was ready I decided to make my way over to Carlys' so I grabbed my bag and hoodie and walked out of my apartment door only to be greeted by Sam but she just didn't look like herself, her hair was teased and it was clearly not brushed and she had dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn't had a good nights sleep in a good while.  
>"What are you looking at nub" She hissed, I was shocked, I mean after we broke up we had a few arguments but she never acted like this towards me during those.<br>"Sam, are you okay?" when I said that she gave me a death glare "Oh I'm just peachy, I wake up to an empty house and then on my way here it starts to rain making my mood even better! And I take the stairs just to have some time to think and now here we are. But Yep I'm absolutely fine" at the end of her rant she sounded exasperated, she leaned back onto the wall and slid down whilst letting out a big sigh. She clearly had something on her mind, "Sam, what's up? please just tell me"  
>She sucked in some air before releasing it and looking into my eyes "Is it all my fault?" I was confused, I bent down and cupped her face and looked right into her deep blue eyes searching for an answer before she swatted my hands away from her face "what do you mean, is what your fault?"<br>"The fact that everyone around me leaves, is it my fault my dad left me, Melanie and my mum" Her eyes where glazing over at this point "Is it my fault that Melanie couldn't take it any more so she left me and my mum, and then my mum can't stay around to take care of me, it's not that I can't take care of myself but why? And then there are the lucky few I could call my 'boyfriend' Pete stayed with me be then left for God knows what reason, Jonah stuck around just to get to Carly, then you now we can't even have a stable friendship it it me, am I the reason people leave?" she now had tears forming in her eyes, even when we where dating I never got to see this side of her, her head was now resting on her knees her hair covering the sides of her face so i rested my hand on the top of her head "Trust me Sam, I am never going to leave you" She lifted her head and looked at me "P-promise?"  
>"I promise" turning the corners of my mouth into a smile. She looked at me and smiled before punching me in the arm "what the hell was that for?"<br>She just smiled at me before laughing and through her fit of laughter she said"Just to lighten the mood" And that was it before we both where laughing, when we finally calmed down I stood up and offered her my hand, which I was expecting for her to swat away but she gladly took it then walked straight into Carlys' apartment.

I just gazed after her thinking "Her actions and emotions will never cease to amaze me" 

**Thanks for reading please review and tell me what you think...  
>And do you think I should keep a one-shot or make it longer<br>:) **


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